Until I discovered that you can name a cockroach for your valentine at Micke Grove Zoo.
Now I am beside myself.
The zoo explains:
"Do you have a love that can't be squashed? ... Nothing says 'forever' like a cockroach. Not only are they strong and resilient, they've also been around for about 300 million years. What better way to tell someone that you hope your love will last forever than to name a Madagascar hissing cockroach in their honor?"
I love it.
Madagascar hissing cockroaches are among the more than 50 species at Micke Grove. Naming a roach costs $10, a tax-deductible donation that supports zoo operations and educational programming. Your (thrilled!) recipient will receive a personalized digital certificate and recognition at the zoo. It's a limited-time offer, friends. Order here.